The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling
all units manufactured, regardless of make or year,
due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype
units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential
Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known
as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include: Loss of direction, foul
vocal emissions, amnesia of origin, lack of peace and joy,
selfish or violent behavior, fearfulness, idolatry, rebellion,
and depression or confusion in the mental component.
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault
for this defect, is providing factory - authorized repair
and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously
offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost
of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is:
P - R - A - Y - E - R
Once connected, please upload your burden of sin through
the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT
from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the sin defect is, Jesus will
replace it with: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness,
Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.
(Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
for further details on the use of these fixes.
Continuing to operate the human being unit without
correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing
the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and
will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
The human being units not responding to this recall
action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The
sin defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven
so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying
others of this important recall notice, and you
may contact the Father any time by Knee-Mail!