| Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God had decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: |
Thank you for calling Heaven. For English, press 1 For Spanish, press 2 All other languages, press 3 Please select one of the following options: For Request, press 1 For Thanksgiving, press 2 For Complaints, press 3 For all others, press 4 I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and it will be answered in the order it was received. Please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly. If you would like to speak to: God, press 1 Jesus, press 2 Holy Spirit, press 3 To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven, press 5. Then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial 666. For reservations to heaven, please enter "JOHN" followed by the numbers, 3:16. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets - please wait until you arrive in heaven for specifics. I'm sorry, our computers show that you have already been prayed for today. Please hang up and try your call again tomorrow. This office is temporarily closed at this time to observe a religious holiday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local Pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day! - Author Unknown |
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